You know how sometimes you’re crazy about something—you think it’s the best thing ever (after Phyno, of course), but someone else sees it as average? The reverse may be the case, where you think ‘mehhh’ of something someone else thinks the world of. The Mercedes G-Wagen, for instance—heavy-duty luxury vehicle with specs fit for a king. Some people would rob a bank to acquire it, but guess what? I hate that car! I think it’s so ugly.
In contrast, I love, love, loooove Indian cuisine. From the flavours of the dishes to the aroma of curry, I think it’s just to die for. I don’t believe anyone cooks basmati rice like they do. Please don’t even get me started on naan bread.
However, as much as I love Indian food, I know it’s an acquired taste for a number of people.
Now, imagine the G-Wagen and Indian cuisine are human beings. Imagine they are you and me. That I’m not so keen on the G-Wagen doesn’t mean a different person wouldn’t go gaga over it. My lack of appreciation of the car will never take away the love certain people have for it; the same way someone else’s dislike for Indian cuisine doesn’t make it any less appealing to me. I love it just the way it is, strong flavours and all.
Have you ever found yourself wanting someone’s love, attention or friendship to the point where you feel the need to pretend to be something you’re not? Well…stop. No matter how amazing you are, not everyone will like or accept you…and guess what? That’s OK. Continue reading “No One ‘Youer’ Than You”
I once worked as a Customer Service Representative in the Call Centre of an insurance company. Every batch of new recruits was assigned a trainer and ours was a gorgeous man called Neil. I had the biggest crush on him, which was surprising as I’d never thought I could ever find myself attracted to the vanilla brothers. I’m more of a ‘the darker the berry, the sweeter the juice’ kinda gal. Bonus if he’s team #beardgang.
*creepy eyebrow wiggle*
So, naturally, it came as a shock when I found myself attracted to a beardless Caucasian. But Neil was lovely. He was highly intelligent and so cheeky…he was also very married, so the crush died a very natural death once I found out because, well…we don’t roll like that in these streets. No siree. However, I still admired his intellect and even though it’s been years since we worked together, there were things I learned from him as my trainer which have stuck, lessons which I apply till today. In this post, I’ll be sharing one of such—something called ‘The Cycle of Competence’.
Note: I actually believed I came up with that title until I did some research. Alas, the Cycle of Competence (also called the Conscious Competence Ladder) is a concept that has been in existence from as far back as the seventies. It was developed by someone named Noel Burch, an employee of Gordon Training International. Hm! Ah well…
The Cycle of Competence
The cycle of competence pertains to the mental progress of a person from a level of incompetence to that of competence. It occurs in four stages—unconscious incompetence, conscious incompetence, conscious competence and finally, unconscious competence.
Sounds like lyrics from a complicated rap song? Not to worry. Imma break it down.
This is a stage of being unaware of your depth of lack of knowledge of a thing. Have you ever watched someone do something from afar and scoff, ‘that’s child’s play!’ even when you’ve never done it before or even attempted to? Then you try it and realise it’s not as straightforward as you’d initially thought? Yup! Unconscious incompetence. Continue reading “The Cycle of Competence”
I was wary as I walked into her living room. We hadn’t exactly been on friendly terms for the past few days as a result of the shabby way she had been treating my friends and I. We’d noticed and began to withdraw. I guess she, in turn, had sensed our withdrawal, because she requested to speak to me about the situation and I consented. I sat on her couch and waited for her to speak.
I listened to her narrate stories of being abused as a child and the more she spoke, the clearer it became that she was attempting to tie her unfortunate experience to the things she did to us. I sincerely didn’t see what her being abused as a child had to do with the way she’d treated us and told her as much. I also told her I felt she had turned her experience into a crutch, thinking she could act however she felt towards people and blame it on her being abused, hoping she’d be excused for her attitude. Continue reading “Victim Mentality: 12 Reasons to Hate It and How to Overcome It”
I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned here how much I love journaling, have I? Well, I love it. It’s a habit I developed about three years ago and since I began, I’ve never looked back.
I have journals that serve different purposes:
My Life Journal: I use this to just put my random thoughts on paper and record my views on various subjects. I write about current affairs in my life and address any emotions connected to them; I write about my fears, regrets and hopes. I take stock of my life, write down lessons learned and milestones attained.
My Blog Planner: Here, I write down my goals and blog topic ideas for Oma’s Serendipity; basically, anything related to my blog and moving it to the ‘permanent site’ are contained here.
My Dream Book: In this, I record my ideas, goals and aspirations mostly related to my career/business and my life’s purpose. I put down visions I have of where I want to be. This is based on something that’s even biblical.
Write the vision. Make it clear on tablets so that anyone can read it quickly. (Habakkuk 2:2 GW)
My Faith Journal: I record lessons from my walk with God, Bible study notes and my personal messages from God.
Bullet Journal (Lite): I first heard of bullet journaling a few months ago, when I read a post on http://www.finallyfiona.com, which is run by the lovely Fiona Kolade. A bullet journal is a highly detailed organiser where you write mostly to-do lists and mark tasks off as soon as they’re completed. I can’t seem to find the post where Fiona wrote about it but this post on Buzzfeed gives an explicit explanation of what bullet journaling is. It describes it better than anywhere else I’ve seen.
Although mine isn’t so detailed—hence, the reason I call it a bullet journal lite—it still serves the purpose of keeping me more organised, but I’m actually considering practising bullet journaling fully. Continue reading “Journaling, It’s Benefits and 4 Tips On Doing It Effectively”
The faded gold car I had seen earlier pulled up next to me.
‘Sister, where you dey go?’ the driver of the car said. He seemed to be in his late-thirties.
I looked at him and his car in confusion, not sure if he was a cab driver or just someone who wanted to give me a lift. It was a 2-door sports car, you see, a rarity for taxis in Abuja. With skepticism, I told him where I was going. He turned out to be a cab driver; we settled on a price and I got in. Reggae music was playing from his car speakers and he was excessively bubbly and chatty. I rolled my eyes internally.
Oh God, he’s one of those people. I don’t need this today, abeg.
Unfortunately, he was so blissfully unfazed by my silence and would not stop talking. Eight or so minutes into the journey, I received a phone call and was thankful for the distraction, albeit a momentary one. After I hung up, the driver turned on the air conditioner.
‘Make I on A.C for you,’ he said. ‘E be like say your body dey hot…’ Continue reading “The Pursuit of Happy-ness: A Cab Ride, Lucky Dube and a Major Life Lesson”
Mummy, I want to be rich when I grow up.
OK, but not too rich sha, so that you will find husband quick. You don’t want to be like Aunty Peace who was chasing money and now, at 43, she’s still not married.
I like that car. I want to buy it.
Ahn aahhn! You’re not married yet nah. You want to chase men away with that machine?
I just bought land. I want to build a block of flats on it.
Hmm…OK. But make sure the guy you marry doesn’t know though. So he doesn’t feel intimidated and threatened. Continue reading “Woman, You Can Be More”
You’re at the airport and your flight to India is for 9:40 a.m. You’re checked in, just waiting to board. At 8:40 a.m, the call to board is heard so you make your way to the gate, and after your boarding pass is checked, you head to the hallway leading to your plane. You enter the aircraft, get settled in and wait for take off. Not long after, you’re India-bound. Everything is going as planned. You’ve been looking forward to this journey for months, especially after all the planning and saving. In just over ten hours, you would’ve reached your destination. You can’t wait. The taste of authentic samosas is almost tangible on your tongue and you picture the number of saris you would be coming back home with. You sigh in contentment and relax.
A while into the journey, though, an announcement is made via the flight PA system. Continue reading “Managing Life’s Diversions, Like A Boss”
Guess who turned 30 on Monday? If you said me, you got it right. Whaaaatttt?!! *doing the milly rock*
Note: In real life I can’t do that dance to save my life but anything is possible online, right? Right? No? OK, then; moving on!
So, how does it feel to be 30? Hmm…I honestly feel great. Life is a gift and I’ve always tried not to be that person who obsesses over the things that haven’t been achieved. I make sure to count my blessings. There’s always something to be thankful for and I’m genuinely grateful to God for the gift of life. It’s easy to put yourself down after you realise that all the things you’ve wanted to achieve by a certain point in your life are yet to be. Continue reading “30 Things I’ve Learned In Thirty Years”
Gba, gba, gba! Gbim, gbim! GBIM!
Those were the sounds coming from our neighbour’s compound when I walked into my bedroom. They were the typical, annoying noises associated with construction works. It had been that way all week! One of the windows in my bedroom was right next to the fence that separated our houses so I was ‘blessed’ with the noise every time I went in. My sister was seated on the bed, watching Black-ish, I think, on her laptop, when I told her I was going to write about them for my blog.
‘Ahn’, my sister replied, confused. ‘What can you possibly want to write about them?’ Continue reading “A Very Good Place To Start”