Victim Mentality: 12 Reasons to Hate It and How to Overcome It

I was wary as I walked into her living room. We hadn’t exactly been on friendly terms for the past few days as a result of the shabby way she had been treating my friends and I. We’d noticed and began to withdraw. I guess she, in turn, had sensed our withdrawal, because she requested to speak to me about the situation and I consented. I sat on her couch and waited for her to speak.

I listened to her narrate stories of being abused as a child and the more she spoke, the clearer it became that she was attempting to tie her unfortunate experience to the things she did to us. I sincerely didn’t see what her being abused as a child had to do with the way she’d treated us and told her as much. I also told her I felt she had turned her experience into a crutch, thinking she could act however she felt towards people and blame it on her being abused, hoping she’d be excused for her attitude. Continue reading “Victim Mentality: 12 Reasons to Hate It and How to Overcome It”

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The Ting Goes ‘Skrrrra! Pa Pa Ka Ka Ka!

Boom! Issa post yo!

(I’ve just crossed something off my bucket list—I have finally used ‘Issa’ in a sentence! *this is where I imagine an applause, excited whistling and roses being thrown at me*)

Hm! Like. A. Joke. I haven’t posted here in over a month.

Heyyyy! Aye mi temi! Ba mi! Apostle must hear of this! My sisters and brothers, I’m also wondering how that happened?

My excuse hasn’t been writer’s block or lack of inspiration—I’ve been finding inspiration in almost everything, even the most mundane things. So no, it’s been none of that.

I just didn’t feel like any of my scheduled posts were…complete and compelling enough for eyes other than mine…and my proofreaders, of course. Maybe I’m just being too much? They say writers are their own biggest critics and are extremely sensitive about their work. Mayhap, I am a writer after all. Haha. Continue reading “The Ting Goes ‘Skrrrra! Pa Pa Ka Ka Ka!”

You Really Oughta Live and Let Live

Egbe bere, ugo bere
Nke si ibe ya ebela
Nku kwaa ya

This is by far one of my favourite Igbo proverbs. It means:

Let the hawk perch, let the eagle perch
The one that says that his mate shouldn’t perch
May his wings be broken

In simple terms: ‘Live and let live’.

What is this you’re eating? Is this food for a human being or for a goat? Where is the meat? You’re in Nigeria o! You’re not oyibo. Don’t you know Nigerians can’t be vegetarians?

I don’t understand why a grown woman would decide to do a birthday photo shoot and surround herself with balloons and childish props. Why not act your age in the pictures you take—you’re too old for this s**t!

Why is she wearing those shoes? She has such a weird style.

This babe! We’ve never seen your real face before o! Madam Contour and Highlight! Na only you waka come!

Why are you cooking the egusi like that? That’s not how we do it my village.

Why are you having a full English breakfast at 2 in the afternoon?

How can people just decide to not have children when they are both medically fit to. That makes no sense!

You want to be a stay-at-home mum? Wow…

You want to be a career mum? Wow…

Why do they always bend their legs like that when taking pictures?

Sigh… Continue reading “You Really Oughta Live and Let Live”

Journaling, It’s Benefits and 4 Tips On Doing It Effectively

I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned here how much I love journaling, have I? Well, I love it. It’s a habit I developed about three years ago and since I began, I’ve never looked back.

I have journals that serve different purposes:

My Life Journal: I use this to just put my random thoughts on paper and record my views on various subjects. I write about current affairs in my life and address any emotions connected to them; I write about my fears, regrets and hopes. I take stock of my life, write down lessons learned and milestones attained.

My Blog Planner: Here, I write down my goals and blog topic ideas for Oma’s Serendipity; basically, anything related to my blog and moving it to the ‘permanent site’ are contained here.

My Dream Book: In this, I record my ideas, goals and aspirations mostly related to my career/business and my life’s purpose. I put down visions I have of where I want to be. This is based on something that’s even biblical.

Write the vision. Make it clear on tablets so that anyone can read it quickly. (‭Habakkuk‬ ‭2‬:‭2‬ GW)

My Faith Journal: I record lessons from my walk with God, Bible study notes and my personal messages from God.

Bullet Journal (Lite): I first heard of bullet journaling a few months ago, when I read a post on http://www.finallyfiona.com, which is run by the lovely Fiona Kolade. A bullet journal is a highly detailed organiser where you write mostly to-do lists and mark tasks off as soon as they’re completed. I can’t seem to find the post where Fiona wrote about it but this post on Buzzfeed gives an explicit explanation of what bullet journaling is. It describes it better than anywhere else I’ve seen.

Although mine isn’t so detailed—hence, the reason I call it a bullet journal lite—it still serves the purpose of keeping me more organised, but I’m actually considering practising bullet journaling fully. Continue reading “Journaling, It’s Benefits and 4 Tips On Doing It Effectively”

My Liebster Award

OK.

This post is, first of all, a public apology to Ijeoma of Ijefinelivin’. I’m quite ashamed to say I was nominated for this award by her since March.

*covers face and wails*

Fuuuuunkeee! Apostle must hear of this!

For some reason, I just never got around to posting it but I believe now is a good time as any, no? Right? Right? OK, great! Now, unto the award—thank you so, so much Ijeoma for this nomination. I’m genuinely honoured.

 

Oma's Serendipity Liebster Award

 

 

Like the Blogger Recognition Award, the Liebster Award is also a tag, where bloggers nominate each other to answer a number of questions and select other bloggers to do the same. The guidelines are as follows:

1. Write a blog post about your nomination, thanking the person who nominated you and include a link to their blog in your post.
2. Display the award on your blog.
3. Give 11 random facts about yourself.
4. Answer the 11 questions asked by the person who nominated you.
5. Nominate 5-11 bloggers and ask them 11 questions as well.
6. List the rules in your post.
7. Inform the bloggers they’ve been nominated and provide a link to the post about your award.
Continue reading “My Liebster Award”

Random Musings || What Women Empowerment Isn’t

There’s this young woman whose account I follow on Instagram. For the purpose of this post, I’ll refer to her as Instagram Lady. To be honest, I’d rather not follow her but I continue to because I think she’s a phenomenal writer and I absolutely love her literary work.

If you’re a woman whose mind has been freed from the shackles of society’s expectations of what a lady should be—in terms of how we must act, what we are allowed to become, etc.—I understand how it can be annoying when you meet or interact with a woman who hasn’t quite…seen the light yet. I’m talking about the type of woman who is so smug about her, sometimes, self-imposed subjugation; the type of woman that feels she has to condense herself, become shrivelled, seem unintelligent or unambitious in order to be tagged ‘an ideal woman’. The type of woman whose marital status is more or less the only reason she holds her head high. She’s married, you see, and has vowed to spend the rest of her years condemning those oh-so-lowly, unmarried womenfolk. She’s the type of woman whose ideologies of the true meaning of submission are so unbelievably warped, you can’t help but ask, “Seestah…them do you for your village?” Continue reading “Random Musings || What Women Empowerment Isn’t”

Story Time || Creatures of the Night and Prayer Warriors

It was almost 1 a.m when my dad asked for the generator to be turned off and unfortunately, I wasn’t asleep. I was doing some writing actually, trying to complete my post on happiness. PHCN decided to do what they’re best known for—holding power—and that week had been particularly bad. I worked till I was satisfied with what I’d written; or at least satisfied enough to go to bed. The time was about 3.25 a.m or so. I settled under the covers, closed my eyes…and that’s when they came.

ZzzzZZZZ…BZZZzzzZZZ…

Sigh.

Our rather unfriendly neighbourhood mosquitoes.

What is this now, I thought. Did I not spray this room with insecticide earlier?

BBZZZZZZZZZ…

I’m surprised my skin has not scarred from slapping myself so much in a bid to kill the idiot buggers. You know the most annoying thing? They can let you be for a few minutes. Then when you’re just about falling asleep, zzzzZZZZ! In your ear! Short, quick, but highly irritating. Ugh! My brother once told me, a few years ago, that he read an article which stated that mosquitoes in Africa have somehow evolved to develop exoskeletons. For this reason, they have become resistant to conventional insecticides. I don’t know how accurate that information is, but, omo, I believe! It’s like we are dealing with a special specie of mosquitoes nowadays. And if you see how huge they are, ehn! Ha!

Continue reading “Story Time || Creatures of the Night and Prayer Warriors”

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Prose || What Pastor Kayode Said

I can’t do this anymore, I think to myself as I lean against the bathroom sink. This time I actually vomited. That has never happened before. I turn on the tap to rinse my mouth with water as I hate the taste of the mouthwash.

Spearmint.

After I’m done, I look in the mirror. My nose is running and my puffy eyes are watering—effects of the nausea. I want to speak to someone but I don’t think I would know what to say if I ever have the chance. How would it sound after the words escaped my lips?

One night, I threw up after my husband made love to me. Every time we make love I always come close to vomiting, but on that day I actually did.

Seems incredible doesn’t it? Who would be able to explain such an occurrence to me? I’ve thought so many times about leaving him. I feel terrible just thinking it and I can already hear the surprised voices of my friends and family if I do decide to follow through.

“But Jake dotes on you,” they would say. “He treats you like an egg!” Continue reading “Prose || What Pastor Kayode Said”

Book Recommendation: Homegoing By Yaa Gyasi

Ooooohhh!

Ask me how I know I’ve read an amazing book—if after I read the last word of the book, I want to start all over again. That was exactly how I felt after reading Yaa Gyasi’s Homegoing and yes, I know I’m nearly a year late to the party. Forgive me, fellow bibliophiles. Deal mercifully with me.

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The plot was absolutely fantastic. A historical fiction set in Ghana and the US, the book paints vivid pictures of the cruelty and darkness of slave trade in Africa as well as slavery and racial segregation in America. I must warn you, this book is not exactly what I would call a happy book. If you ask me to describe it in one word, I would say: intense. I didn’t mind at all though; that quality favoured the melancholic part of me. I also wouldn’t describe Homegoing as an easy read, but it’s highly gripping and thought-provoking. Continue reading “Book Recommendation: Homegoing By Yaa Gyasi”