I’ve always wondered what my eulogy would be like.
Morbid? I suppose, but still, I wonder what would be said of me.
She was funny?
She was smart?
She was a phenomenal friend?
I didn’t know her but I admired her?
I also wonder if I’d actually be aware of what would be said or written about me because then I’d be a spirit, right? And I don’t know if the spirits of the dead have any knowledge of the things that go on in the lives of the ones they leave behind (enlighten me if you have any idea, please). That’s why when I read certain eulogies, beautifully written pieces extolling a loved one who passes away, I wonder if the deceased knew how the bereaved felt about them while they still lived. I wonder if the deceased knew how loved they were, how important they were to the bereaved because the thing is: what’s the point in you telling me how you cared about me when I’m no longer alive to hear you say it? And then you’re filled with guilt and regret over things that should have been done and said but never were, as life, and all the hassle it sometimes brings, made you forget none of us will live forever.
I wish I had told you how much you meant to me
I wish I had returned that call
I wish I had made out more time to see you
I wish, I wish…I wish…
We don’t need to wait for someone we love to pass away before we are reminded that we should have let them know how important they were to us.
I believe that, sometimes, a bereaved person doesn’t only mourn because they’ve lost a loved one and will never see, touch or speak to them again; I believe they also remember, with regret, the times they should have shown love in a better capacity to the one they lost. I believe they are also reminded of the times they made a fuss about something that, in hindsight, shouldn’t have mattered at all. They regret the times they took the deceased for granted. They feel sad about the fact that there will never be a chance to do things differently, an opportunity to tell and show them that they were loved.
So, who needs to know you love them, that you care? Pick up the phone and send that text/IM or, better still, call them. And if they’re physically close to you, spend quality time with them. Hug them more, laugh with them more, make new memories, rediscover who they are because time makes us all evolve and grow. Be nicer to them…Forgive them. Forgive them and as tough as it is, try to never take them for granted.
I pray we all live long and well—us and those important to us. However, I also hope we are reminded daily, to show those we love how much they mean to us…while we still have them.