No One ‘Youer’ Than You

You know how sometimes you’re crazy about something—you think it’s the best thing ever (after Phyno, of course), but someone else sees it as average? The reverse may be the case, where you think ‘mehhh’ of something someone else thinks the world of. The Mercedes G-Wagen, for instance—heavy-duty luxury vehicle with specs fit for a king. Some people would rob a bank to acquire it, but guess what? I hate that car! I think it’s so ugly.

 

Orange Mercedes Benz g-wagen

 

In contrast, I love, love, loooove Indian cuisine. From the flavours of the dishes to the aroma of curry, I think it’s just to die for. I don’t believe anyone cooks basmati rice like they do. Please don’t even get me started on naan bread.

Heaven.

However, as much as I love Indian food, I know it’s an acquired taste for a number of people.

Now, imagine the G-Wagen and Indian cuisine are human beings. Imagine they are you and me. That I’m not so keen on the G-Wagen doesn’t mean a different person wouldn’t go gaga over it. My lack of appreciation of the car will never take away the love certain people have for it; the same way someone else’s dislike for Indian cuisine doesn’t make it any less appealing to me. I love it just the way it is, strong flavours and all.

 

Indian curry cuisine platter

 

Have you ever found yourself wanting someone’s love, attention or friendship to the point where you feel the need to pretend to be something you’re not? Well…stop. No matter how amazing you are, not everyone will like or accept you…and guess what? That’s OK. Continue reading “No One ‘Youer’ Than You”

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Another Typical ‘Blog-versary’ Post: Oma’s Serendipity is 1!!

It was almost 9 p.m. The date: 07/11/16. I had just published my ‘official’ first blog post. Official because, though I’d created the blog almost two weeks before its actual public ‘launch’, only three people knew of its existence. I’d wanted to test a few themes and get a bit acquainted with WordPress before publishing ‘proper’ posts and spreading the word.

I had initially planned on publishing earlier that day and the post I’d had in mind was Life is but a Journey but my friend/editor delayed in informing me that she had sent back the edited work. That delay ended up being an advantage as the idea for that first post began to form in my head. Do you know, that post turned out to be my favourite for a while? Well…until I wrote What Pastor Kayode Said.

Anyway, there I was, iPad in hands that shook violently as I attempted to take a screenshot of that first blog post to share on Instagram. I took the screenshot, cropped the picture, went on Instagram to upload…and froze completely. My heart pounded wildly and my breathing actually began to feel laboured.

A voice in my head kept saying, “You don’t have to tell anyone about this, you know? Nobody knows about it yet so you still have a chance to just delete what you’ve published and go about your life like nothing ever happened.”

I considered doing that for a moment. Less than a handful of people actually knew and if they’d asked why I didn’t go through with the blog, I could have easily come up with a random excuse. There was certainly nothing they could have done about it.

Well…*grins broadly*…I believe this post you’re reading is a testament to the fact that I didn’t listen to the negative voices in my head because amidst the uncertainty and fear was also a savage determination.

Alas, Oma’s Serendipity has made it to a year! Whooooop!!

*cue atilogwu beat*
*vigorously shaking body to the beat*
*imaginary backflip*

Phew! Continue reading “Another Typical ‘Blog-versary’ Post: Oma’s Serendipity is 1!!”

Prose || Easy Like Sunday Morning?

Hammock with pillow

 

Kachi was going to be late to church…again. She was always wary of Sundays and it was simply because her twins, her beautiful and intelligent but terribly mischievous four-year old daughters, always made the day such a chore. If someone wasn’t spilling milk on her dress, someone was refusing to brush her teeth, a shoe from a pair couldn’t be found or someone was smearing Ruby Woo on someone’s forehead. Those children clearly didn’t know the current cost of MAC lipsticks!

She always wondered why getting them ready on school days was usually such a breeze compared to Sunday mornings, which were, without question…nightmarish. She really was not a fan of Sundays and today was no different. Unfortunately, Nze, her husband, was away on a business trip for the weekend—not like his presence would’ve made any difference. He was even more hopeless than she was when it came to taming their girls. Those two had him wrapped around their tiny fingers.

That morning, she was at the dining area of their open-plan living room, her daughter Adaora seated before her on a low plastic stool as she redid the twists in her hair. The girl had decided to test the efficiency of a fork as a comb because her sister, Adaeze, who was the more mischievous of the two, had told her she could. The other twin in question watched a cartoon whose name Kachi didn’t know, while her mother fixed her sister’s hair.

“Benedicta,” Kachi called her live-in maid.

“Ma?” her maid replied from the kitchen before coming to her. The girl’s face permanently had the look of someone who was expectant—wide eyes, raised eyebrows and pursed lips.

“Please start putting the things in the car. I’ll soon be done with this madam’s hair.”

“OK ma.”

“Take the key,” Kachi told her, pointing to the car key on the dining table. “Don’t forget the cake. It’s on the microwave.”

“Yes ma,” Benedicta replied as she picked up the key.

At the sound of the word ‘cake’, Adaeze came alive. She turned around to look at her mother. Continue reading “Prose || Easy Like Sunday Morning?”

The Cycle of Competence

I once worked as a Customer Service Representative in the Call Centre of an insurance company. Every batch of new recruits was assigned a trainer and ours was a gorgeous man called Neil. I had the biggest crush on him, which was surprising as I’d never thought I could ever find myself attracted to the vanilla brothers. I’m more of a ‘the darker the berry, the sweeter the juice’ kinda gal. Bonus if he’s team #beardgang.

*creepy eyebrow wiggle*

So, naturally, it came as a shock when I found myself attracted to a beardless Caucasian. But Neil was lovely. He was highly intelligent and so cheeky…he was also very married, so the crush died a very natural death once I found out because, well…we don’t roll like that in these streets. No siree. However, I still admired his intellect and even though it’s been years since we worked together, there were things I learned from him as my trainer which have stuck, lessons which I apply till today. In this post, I’ll be sharing one of such—something called ‘The Cycle of Competence’.

Note: I actually believed I came up with that title until I did some research. Alas, the Cycle of Competence (also called the Conscious Competence Ladder) is a concept that has been in existence from as far back as the seventies. It was developed by someone named Noel Burch, an employee of Gordon Training International. Hm! Ah well…

 

The Cycle of Competence 

Cycle of competence oma's serendipity

 

The cycle of competence pertains to the mental progress of a person from a level of incompetence to that of competence. It occurs in four stages—unconscious incompetence, conscious incompetence, conscious competence and finally, unconscious competence.

Sounds like lyrics from a complicated rap song? Not to worry. Imma break it down.

 

Unconscious Incompetence

This is a stage of being unaware of your depth of lack of knowledge of a thing. Have you ever watched someone do something from afar and scoff, ‘that’s child’s play!’ even when you’ve never done it before or even attempted to? Then you try it and realise it’s not as straightforward as you’d initially thought? Yup! Unconscious incompetence. Continue reading “The Cycle of Competence”

Victim Mentality: 12 Reasons to Hate It and How to Overcome It

I was wary as I walked into her living room. We hadn’t exactly been on friendly terms for the past few days as a result of the shabby way she had been treating my friends and I. We’d noticed and began to withdraw. I guess she, in turn, had sensed our withdrawal, because she requested to speak to me about the situation and I consented. I sat on her couch and waited for her to speak.

I listened to her narrate stories of being abused as a child and the more she spoke, the clearer it became that she was attempting to tie her unfortunate experience to the things she did to us. I sincerely didn’t see what her being abused as a child had to do with the way she’d treated us and told her as much. I also told her I felt she had turned her experience into a crutch, thinking she could act however she felt towards people and blame it on her being abused, hoping she’d be excused for her attitude. Continue reading “Victim Mentality: 12 Reasons to Hate It and How to Overcome It”

The Ting Goes ‘Skrrrra! Pa Pa Ka Ka Ka!

Boom! Issa post yo!

(I’ve just crossed something off my bucket list—I have finally used ‘Issa’ in a sentence! *this is where I imagine an applause, excited whistling and roses being thrown at me*)

Hm! Like. A. Joke. I haven’t posted here in over a month.

Heyyyy! Aye mi temi! Ba mi! Apostle must hear of this! My sisters and brothers, I’m also wondering how that happened?

My excuse hasn’t been writer’s block or lack of inspiration—I’ve been finding inspiration in almost everything, even the most mundane things. So no, it’s been none of that.

I just didn’t feel like any of my scheduled posts were…complete and compelling enough for eyes other than mine…and my proofreaders, of course. Maybe I’m just being too much? They say writers are their own biggest critics and are extremely sensitive about their work. Mayhap, I am a writer after all. Haha. Continue reading “The Ting Goes ‘Skrrrra! Pa Pa Ka Ka Ka!”

You Really Oughta Live and Let Live

Egbe bere, ugo bere
Nke si ibe ya ebela
Nku kwaa ya

This is by far one of my favourite Igbo proverbs. It means:

Let the hawk perch, let the eagle perch
The one that says that his mate shouldn’t perch
May his wings be broken

In simple terms: ‘Live and let live’.

What is this you’re eating? Is this food for a human being or for a goat? Where is the meat? You’re in Nigeria o! You’re not oyibo. Don’t you know Nigerians can’t be vegetarians?

I don’t understand why a grown woman would decide to do a birthday photo shoot and surround herself with balloons and childish props. Why not act your age in the pictures you take—you’re too old for this s**t!

Why is she wearing those shoes? She has such a weird style.

This babe! We’ve never seen your real face before o! Madam Contour and Highlight! Na only you waka come!

Why are you cooking the egusi like that? That’s not how we do it my village.

Why are you having a full English breakfast at 2 in the afternoon?

How can people just decide to not have children when they are both medically fit to. That makes no sense!

You want to be a stay-at-home mum? Wow…

You want to be a career mum? Wow…

Why do they always bend their legs like that when taking pictures?

Sigh… Continue reading “You Really Oughta Live and Let Live”

Journaling, It’s Benefits and 4 Tips On Doing It Effectively

I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned here how much I love journaling, have I? Well, I love it. It’s a habit I developed about three years ago and since I began, I’ve never looked back.

I have journals that serve different purposes:

My Life Journal: I use this to just put my random thoughts on paper and record my views on various subjects. I write about current affairs in my life and address any emotions connected to them; I write about my fears, regrets and hopes. I take stock of my life, write down lessons learned and milestones attained.

My Blog Planner: Here, I write down my goals and blog topic ideas for Oma’s Serendipity; basically, anything related to my blog and moving it to the ‘permanent site’ are contained here.

My Dream Book: In this, I record my ideas, goals and aspirations mostly related to my career/business and my life’s purpose. I put down visions I have of where I want to be. This is based on something that’s even biblical.

Write the vision. Make it clear on tablets so that anyone can read it quickly. (‭Habakkuk‬ ‭2‬:‭2‬ GW)

My Faith Journal: I record lessons from my walk with God, Bible study notes and my personal messages from God.

Bullet Journal (Lite): I first heard of bullet journaling a few months ago, when I read a post on http://www.finallyfiona.com, which is run by the lovely Fiona Kolade. A bullet journal is a highly detailed organiser where you write mostly to-do lists and mark tasks off as soon as they’re completed. I can’t seem to find the post where Fiona wrote about it but this post on Buzzfeed gives an explicit explanation of what bullet journaling is. It describes it better than anywhere else I’ve seen.

Although mine isn’t so detailed—hence, the reason I call it a bullet journal lite—it still serves the purpose of keeping me more organised, but I’m actually considering practising bullet journaling fully. Continue reading “Journaling, It’s Benefits and 4 Tips On Doing It Effectively”

My Liebster Award

OK.

This post is, first of all, a public apology to Ijeoma of Ijefinelivin’. I’m quite ashamed to say I was nominated for this award by her since March.

*covers face and wails*

Fuuuuunkeee! Apostle must hear of this!

For some reason, I just never got around to posting it but I believe now is a good time as any, no? Right? Right? OK, great! Now, unto the award—thank you so, so much Ijeoma for this nomination. I’m genuinely honoured.

 

Oma's Serendipity Liebster Award

 

 

Like the Blogger Recognition Award, the Liebster Award is also a tag, where bloggers nominate each other to answer a number of questions and select other bloggers to do the same. The guidelines are as follows:

1. Write a blog post about your nomination, thanking the person who nominated you and include a link to their blog in your post.
2. Display the award on your blog.
3. Give 11 random facts about yourself.
4. Answer the 11 questions asked by the person who nominated you.
5. Nominate 5-11 bloggers and ask them 11 questions as well.
6. List the rules in your post.
7. Inform the bloggers they’ve been nominated and provide a link to the post about your award.
Continue reading “My Liebster Award”

Random Musings || What Women Empowerment Isn’t

There’s this young woman whose account I follow on Instagram. For the purpose of this post, I’ll refer to her as Instagram Lady. To be honest, I’d rather not follow her but I continue to because I think she’s a phenomenal writer and I absolutely love her literary work.

If you’re a woman whose mind has been freed from the shackles of society’s expectations of what a lady should be—in terms of how we must act, what we are allowed to become, etc.—I understand how it can be annoying when you meet or interact with a woman who hasn’t quite…seen the light yet. I’m talking about the type of woman who is so smug about her, sometimes, self-imposed subjugation; the type of woman that feels she has to condense herself, become shrivelled, seem unintelligent or unambitious in order to be tagged ‘an ideal woman’. The type of woman whose marital status is more or less the only reason she holds her head high. She’s married, you see, and has vowed to spend the rest of her years condemning those oh-so-lowly, unmarried womenfolk. She’s the type of woman whose ideologies of the true meaning of submission are so unbelievably warped, you can’t help but ask, “Seestah…them do you for your village?” Continue reading “Random Musings || What Women Empowerment Isn’t”